Aditi’s Paint Brush

This is a story of my 6+yrs of long struggle with infertility, a suffering that fundamentally changed me as a person, a suffering I wish not even for the worst of my enemies! It is a story of my battle with myriad painful emotions and deepest vulnerabilities, that I wish…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb To begin with, we never knew getting pregnant could also be a problem, or couldn’t be frivolously easy (thanks to bollywood movies!). So much so that we used to often be anxious about getting pregnant during the early…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb I still don’t know which was a stronger emotion in us all these years — hope that we will certainly have a baby or denial that we cannot not have a baby despite all that we were doing…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb No account of those five years of medical circus can be complete without talking about the dreadful “two weeks wait” or “phantom pregnancy”. Yes, terms like these exist for real and are known to only those who had…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb There is always a greater pain that makes you forget other pains. The physical pain and damage that the various treatments were causing, made me forget the heartache of failing to conceive cycles after cycles. It was all…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb Each time we know of someone’s sudden death, we begin to question if all of life’s struggles and chases are even worth if we are to just die one day. I got the same feeling of futility often…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb I was just past 30 when we realized that medical intervention was needed for me to conceive. We were vigilant enough to go to medical experts promptly. After all, the biological clock was ticking fast and age would…

Back to the preface: The Profane and Sacred Truth of my Womb I can bet that infertility and the medical circus that it entails have the capability to put love, marriage and other relations under strain and trial. But I was fortunate. Possibly the only positive side-effect of this all…